One of the perks of being in women’s ministry and hosting the A Woman Inspired conferences is that I am able to get to know some amazing women that I may not have had a chance to get to talk to otherwise. Shelly Ballestero is one of them. Can I just tell you that I love this girl? Ten minutes into our phone conversation today I felt like I had known her forever. Okay maybe not forever but at least a really long time. Kind of like we were already really good buds. 
We were so on the same page. Almost. She likes to whip up her own organic beauty concoctions in the kitchen and I would just rather buy hers because well, I’m not that crafty. In any case, we totally agreed that we women are slightly mixed up when it comes to beauty. We put so much focus on covering up the lines and wrinkles that we never consider what causes them. Don’t get me wrong. I ‘m all for make-up and hair dye (those who know me should just not comment on that one because the red streak is gone) but I do think that beauty has to start on the inside. I know it’s so cliche but seriously, how attractive can it be to have an amazing body and face yet there is constant gossip, anger, bitterness, and jealousy oozing through every fiber of your being? Then we get so caught up that we develop the damsel in distress syndrome so that someone, anyone, will rescue us from our misery. It isn’t cute. Ask your man. He’ll tell you.
It all starts on the inside: the inner spirit, the inner body, the inner soul.
Shelly and I discussed this in great detail today. Over an hours worth of talking about it. Did I mention that I’m not a phone girl? Oh, and Kristen my dear, I am so sorry I was late for our scheduled meeting (and for the fact that my boys were doing a replay of the fight scenes from Karate Kid – 1, 2, and 3 – but shhhh… dont‘ tell that to anyone, k?)! Forgive me? Anyhoo, I was so blessed by Shelly’s heart and her passion to serve and minster to women. We have big plans for some online things but I have to keep it under wraps for now (no pun intended). It is going to be soooo great though!
If it is anything like her book, Beauty by God, then I know it will be a major hit! I can definitely say that I felt like a supermodel by chapter 8. I was even motivated to start working out again and that is a miracle in and of itself. Just ask my husband. I’m sure he pinches himself each time I actually get up at 5 stinkin‘ am in the morning to do crunches and circuit training. But I want to! That is the miraculous part. I feel beautiful again and because of that I take better care of myself.
I was also quite impressed with all of the recipes for bath and beauty stuff. I mean I have a good bit of these ingredients in my kitchen. I am seriously considering sending out an invitation to my sister and some other friends to come over for a slumber party. Then I’ll let them make all of this stuff and I’ll just keep some. *big smile*
And good grief, she has a chapter for everything: beauty and balance, gorgeous and green, skincare, flawless face, haute, healthy hair, the devil’s top 10 ingredients, pampered pantry, clothing essentials, luxury living for less, scents and sensibilities, alleviating the stinkin‘ thinkin‘, beauty turned beast, discover your passion pathway, and helping your man look grand. Did I mention that I read the entire book during two appointments with a bubble bath? I was sucked in (sucked into the book not the tub). It was just so fascinating to see how prayer, water, a little bit of exercise, and brown sugar can make such a difference in your physical appearance. I would eat the foot scrub by the way but 
that is probably not what she was going for when she included that recipe.
Then she tackles the spiritual and emotional side of all of this. You can put on all the make-up you want and still feel unattractive if you aren’t set free from some things. Shelly lays it all out there for you. Freedom is yours for the taking – if you want it. She has done such a magnificent thing for women by writing this book. This is like a woman manual. Every girl should have one. She’ll even tell you where to get the best cute jeans!
What do you ladies think about all of this? What are some concerns or questions that you have regarding true beauty? No question is off limits. Ask about make-up, skin care, hair products, organic foods, soul makeovers, anything. This will help us with future events! 
Hey Amy..great post. I am actually currently reading Shelly’s book. If you felt like a supermodel by Chapter 8, then I need to read faster, lol. Especially if it motivates to exercise. I’ve been saying ALL day, literally, that I needed to get on the treadmill. Still haven’t..and now that its almost 8pm, I won’t do it. I think I’ll go read more of Beauty by God!
Sounds like a great book. I buy organic makeup but hadn’t thought of making it myself. It’s good to emphasize inner beauty, since outer beauty is emphasized so much in our society.
I’ve always loved the Karate Kid, so I now know I would fit in just fine at your house!
I’ve been wanting to buy this book for a while…and now I am.
It was a pleasure getting to train with you today!
Oh my boys would fit in just fine with yours! ;o) I think I just got sucked into buying the book. =o) Sounds like a great read.
You know when we stop seeking the face of the Lord, it is so easy to feel ugly, to feel unworthy, to feel Satan pull on every negative thought we can muster up telling us its all true. And the doubt that fills our heads.
When I am in His presence, nothing holds me back. I’ve been in both situations. I remember a specific time when I couldn’t hear the Lord anymore and it was very painful physically for me. But I couldn’t figure out what it was that I needed to do and that made me panic. I asked older women, I tried to seek others to tell me an answer and I got ignored. When all along all I had to do was pick up my Bible and open my heart to Him. I left that church and began attending another and it too was a good decision.
I think sometimes we need to give ourselves overhauls much like looking in the mirror and saying wow I really need to take care of a few things. Reevaluate, make goals that we do share with another for accountability, and in all this we must keep the Lord the center of our Focus. Like a good diet or exercise regime.
where is the line on real beauty and the beauty of the world? I mean we can preach about inner beauty a lot but feeling good on the outside does account for some of our attitude.. where is that line on when we’re going overboard?
(hehe is that a good question?)
Hi Amy, great post! I am always concerned with the way I look. I have been working out at 5:30 AM as well….not a morning person, But I feel better too. I am enjoying the work outs….But I think there are days when I have my “fat glasses” on and I just don’t feel good about myself. Then on the rare occasion when I have my “skinny glasses” on I still just feel OK. And I continue to pick my self apart.
Can I just say I have come up with a recipe for “sugar scrub” that will make your skin feel simply wonderful!!! That helps with the “skinny glasses” thing I’m sure!!!
how do we compete with women who are airbrushed, silicone filled, and able to purchase the best of every product? i feel good about myself until i see my hubs staring down some billboard. then i get all queasy and suddenly every flaw i have seems to be magnified. how do i over come this?
It’s funny, when I couldn’t afford it, in my 20s, I only bought Lancome and other high end dept store cosmetics because those expensive packages made me feel (falsely) prettier. Now that I’m, ahem, older and money is not so much of an issue I just pick up cheapie grocery store stuff Loreal or Oil of Olay at the grocery store. It’s probably not because I’m smarter, just lazier. Which means I would never make my own cosmetics, although it sounds like fun. Maybe I could let my 5YO make them?
At some point physical beauty fades and it goes in a hurry, so you better like who you see in the mirror long before you get there. My Aunt Jean is 93 and is smart and pretty and lively and dignified. The love of the Lord oozes out her pores. I want to be like her.
Okay, I ramble…
Sounds great! I wonder though, with all the “todo” today about Makeup and modesty. I wonder why people are so concerned with that…if you wear makeup, then you are not being modest. I don’t want to look “cheap”, but where is the line? And who knows where that line is? And who created it?
I struggle with eating healthy and comfort eating. And also, make up on a budget
I don’t have a question but I wanted to say what a great review of this book! I’ll definitely be buying it and can’t wait to mesh inner and outer beauty.
You wrote: I know it’s so cliche but seriously, how attractive can it be to have an amazing body and face yet there is constant gossip, anger, bitterness, and jealousy oozing through every fiber of your being? Then we get so caught up that we develop the damsel in distress syndrome so that someone, anyone, will rescue us from our misery. It isn’t cute. Ask your man. He’ll tell you.Sing it, sistah!
Welllllll….so much to say and such a little comment box. I’m ALL for this and I NEED to borrow your copy to read…or buy my own!:) I KNOW it starts from the inside out, speaking from front line experience…I have learned AND I love beauty products and all that goes with it….I LOVE to exercise not because i love it, but I love the way it makes me feel….
Soooooo…..anyway…what a ministry here girls….beauty is from the inside out and it can be contemporary and relevant….
I save my spare change for lipsticks…
Free to be ME! Did you read it…I’m so into this side of the coin….:) you girls are on to something amazing…:)
love you!
Hi Amy! Love it! It is about time that we think about what beauty really is. You can be gorgeous on the outside but if you are ugly on the inside, that is not true beauty. I love that you are writing on this topic and I think that it is a great message to send to our young ladies out there! I would love to hear more from you on these types of issues!
True Beauty. Hmmm… how about the right vitamins and healthy what not that can help give you the energy to not only get through the day BUT have enough to also exercise? How to deal with the lovely breakouts you can get around that time of the month. . . Clothing that flatters different body types. And just about everything you mentioned. . .
This was a GREAT post, Amy! I was laughing all through it. I just love your sense of humor, girl!
But, this is such a SERIOUS topic with women, and CHRISTIAN women. I think Christian women deal with beauty issues, but with huge guilt because we feel like, “good Christian women” shouldn’t be concerned with beauty. The enemy has “beat us up” in this area.
About 2 years ago I gave a talk on this subject at a women’s conference. It was a break-out session offered and I thought, “I’m not sure if anyone will sign up for this”….because we’re not “supposed” to have hang-ups with beauty as Christians. But, this was the break-out that had the most women!
Anyway, this sounds like a great book that I would love to read. And if you can read it in two sittings, all the better!!!
Blessings, Amy!
I really enjoyed Shelley's talk at the conference & I'm enjoying her book, too. I struggle with healthy eating. I used to know what to eat, but I don't know what happened (it happened about 5 years & 55 pounds ago . . .). As soon as my broken foot heals, I'll get back on the exercise wagon, I promise! I've got a great idea for an event: a slumber party in Charlotte, NC
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~Bethany L.
Sounds like a book right up my alley! I am definitely into a natural beauty versus a plastic outlook. A woman at peace with a moisturized face is more beautiful than a woman that has put on her face with a brush!
Hi Amy,
A little better…I really love Teresa Tapp–she is amazing. And you can still eat food and not starve:) I talk about her in my book.
Thank you so much for an amazing review of my book! I am humbled.
You are truly an inspiration to women and to me.
I was reading some of the posts and would love to address some of the questions.
Where is the real line of beauty?
Well, I am not sure who made that line and I can say I have crossed it if there were one:)
However when we focus too much on ourselves it becomes out of balance, like;
The “Mirror Reflection Obsession” (this is a new title I am working on)
Focusing too much on my image and seeing too much of “me” and not enough of the Lord–
When that happens, as it may (we live in a fallen world) we can say positive things like;
• I will not let the world squeeze me into its media bliss for my Lord has great plans for me—Hope, love and an eternal beautiful future.
• _______(put your name in the blank) was made on purpose for a purpose therefore _______ is highly favored by God.
• How unique I am truly am, my father is the potter and I am the clay—take the ‘me’ out of “me” and mold me to fulfill my destiny.
• The comparison trap is a losing game I no longer want to participate in; so look out world, mama’s got a new set of eyes and they won’t be looking at you! (Not for approval that is)
It’s okay to want to look good-as long as you don’t obsess over it- However be careful of a judging spirit (yourself or others), overspending on “beautifying products” that really don’t work most of the time–
Think about this, all you have to do is drink more water (hydrate, plumps wrinkles) fill your body with whole foods and nutrients–omega’s etc and work a fitness program in–now the word program can scare people, even me. Let’s use the word “lifestyle change”
Think about this, when you are on a plane what does the stewardess tell us… “if we lose oxygen” place the mask over your mouth then place the other mask over your child’s mouth.
The same goes for our health–you need to take care of “You” in order to take care of your kids. (The point is if you don’t take care of yourself, how long will you be here to take care of them or what is the quality? Meaning, are your tired,cranky and sick all the time?)Staying healthy is not a vanity thing–it is a survival thing…we need to stay strong to finish this race we call life…especially to help our family, friends AND to Glorify God!
If you have questions don’t hesitate to ask:)
I am on Facebook:)
Great post and the book sounds great also! I personally LOVE organic products – anything; food, beauty, totes, etc – free trade stuff is even better! Here is the issue I see at hand though, especially amonst women of lower income families and situations. We all know that organic “stuff” is better for us (and others and the enviornment) in so many ways. No one is denying that, and I think the majority of women would love to clothe her family in organic, free trade clothing, wash her face with homemade, organic, raw vegan products, and stuff her family’s bellies full of the best, locally grown, organic, produce and free range meats, eggs, raw milk, etc. However, the reality of the situation with our economy has caused so many women to decide what they have to cut corners with – and so often, that includes things we consider “splurges” like organic things. It’s obviously cheaper to go to the dollar store and get that Wet-n-Wild makeup then go to the Whole Foods and get it there. And let me tell you, the fastest way to getting fat is food stamps. I know – Im there now. Food stamps don’t cover much, nor does WIC and other community programs like that. You have to stretch those dollars as far as you can – and what does that mean? “Hugs Juice” instead of Trader Joes Organic Juice line – or back of the truck left over produce instead of side of the road farmstand goods. And that $100 haircut/color combo has been reduced to Hair Cuttery and a box of Clairol. I work amonst the “lesast of these” on a daily basis – families with kids who don’t know where they are getting their next meal from and who have special needs kids to boot. The story goes on and on and Im sure you get my point.
The focus need not be on which organic items are best, or why, but the focus needs to be on 1) What foods, in general, should people be eating – without a focus on organic, non GMO, free range, etc 2) – How to live frugally and “work with what you have” 3) – How to rely on God for EVERY need and most imporatly 4) – Why, as believers, we don’t *need* the beauty products in the first place. Only then, after we realize that we *want* not *need* beauty things can we start to address the issues of WHY we *want* them. Does that make sense? Sorry to rant – just an issue that’s close to my heart. The campaign for real beauty lies not in the products of companies, but in the heart of God which Has placed within us to radiate outwards from us when we accepted Him to take control of our lives – which includes our bodies, our winkles and our grey hairs
I so far love the idea of starting from the inside out. I agree that water and exercise can help immensely. When it comes to our skin, it requires hydration to have smooth and healthy skin. That comes from drinking water and I can tell you from personal experience on two occasions, this is a FACT. I have seen it in action, and the results are phenomenal!
I am not against make-up, I think a little goes a long way. Unfortunately, I’ve been so busy chasing around little ones for the last 6 years, I always forget to put it on!
I’ve never tried organic and I’m not against organic…but all natural is a great way to go, for sure. Whatever we put ON our skin [I've heard] seeps into our skin. Our skin is absorbent, no?
Now, I really want to go find that book so I can read it! I need a kick to get exercising!! This may be it!
Hey Amy – this book sounds awesome. And this topic is so needed for women everywhere. I know that no matter how small I get I still feel ‘fat’ when someone skinnier walks by me. And although my husband is constantly telling me how sexy I am and how attracted he is to me, I just don’t feel it. I see every flaw and every hail mark (you know, the ones on the back of your thighs) and every spider vein.
So what on the inside makes me feel ‘good” on the outside? How do I learn to take a compliment and really believe it when someone tells it to me – and not think that they are ‘just saying it to be nice.’
I want to be a confident, godly woman – and hey! look good too.
I want to teach my daughter about self-worth and self-esteem and balance. . . . but I have to get it right myself first. I want to be an example.
Can’t wait to see what y’all come up with.
Mary
I got this book with some of my Mother’s Day money. I have not actually read, but skimmed the whole thing. I am very excited. Some of it is stuff I already know, because I’ve battled several serious bouts with eczema (head to toe). I know what can happen when we clog our bodies full of junk. My sister also reminded me of something else that might have been my orginal cause of the start of my trouble in the first place (messing up my liver with RX for toenail fungus…gross, but probably true).
Anyway, I agree that we really need to focus on a different beauty than what the world is selling. I loved reading in Created to Be His Help Meet about the not-so-pretty-by-”our”-standards hillbilly woman who all the men smiled and thought was pretty because she just radiated happiness and was always ready with a smile.
We are our daughters and future grand-daughter need the focus change to true beauty. My grandma always said “Pretty is as pretty does.”
We all need to change our tunes about what we eat, clean with, and put on our bodies, because we are destroying ourselves (also God’s temples).
Keep up the good work, Amy!
ooh! Interesting book!
I’d like more information on how your skin care routine should change as you go through menopause.
I went from an oily faced teenager “face” to dry as the Sahara all because of a hysterectomy. HELP!
Okay, a few things…
1. I’m not a phone talker either. Knew we were fast friends
2. I would LOVE to know how to do a make-up “makeover”. I don’t look like I’m from the 80′s anymore, but imagine I could get some tips. I’m clueless.
3. You’ve sold me on this book. Think I’ll go buy it
Amy,
This book sounds like one I need to read. I’ll have to order a copy this week.
Beauty is such a fickle thing and everyone’s idea of beauty is so different. Satan has really got us by the throat over this issue let me tell you. Take it from a former anorexic, beauty is very fickle.
I used to think that if I was just a little bit thinner than I would be beautiful and popular and acceptable and all that. I got thinner and thinner and thinner and more and more and more miserable. I carried around this demon of anorexia and could NEVER satisfy it. It was only after I read a book by Jeff vanVonDeren entitled “Tired of Trying to Meaure Up” that I realized that I would never be able to and should never try to measure up to the standards that the world sets. It is futile and fruitless!
I know that I will never be beautiful by Hollywood standards but I so long to be beautiful to my Jesus. He loves me just the way I am and He knows that this body will decay. Actually I’m trying to remind myself to celebrate the fact that this body is not as young as it used to be. That means that I have (hopefully) obtained some wisdom and am able to walk consistently closer to Jesus.
This may not make a bit of sense to you and if it doesn’t just delete it.
Leah
Hi Amy,
I love that book, too! I actually teach a retreat called “Extreme Makeover: Soul Edition”, where we talk about just these issues!
To me, true beauty is all about confidence. It’s confidence in Jesus as the author of our life and purpose. When we know that we are here for a purpose (that exists far beyond what we look like), we are more at peace.
But it’s also confidence in our calling and who we are. When we are comfortable in our own skin, and with who we are, we’ll tend to shine.
And those who are more comfortable tend to respect themselves, take better care of themselves, so it all spills out and runs together. Inner beauty contributes and defines outer beauty.
But when we aren’t confident, when we are insecure and think everything is based in beauty, we tend to overcompensate, either by spending too much time on appearance and looking ridiculous, or giving up and looking pathetic.
Does that make any sense?
Visit To Love, Honor and Vacuum today!
Sounds like a book I need to read – particularly if it tells me HOW to have the time to work out
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I know that I want to be a woman that is so hot at 80 that the king wants her for his wife and that HAS to come from the Holy Spirit!