It is a difficult thing to wait out the blending process. The experts say it can take from 5-7 years. I believe that but it is hard to wait. I know. We are there. Two years in and I still find things creeping up that tend to slow down the process. The “my kids” mentality, two sets of rules and/or goals, and not being in agreement as to how to raise the children, just to name a few.
I wanted my husband, who is the non-natural parent, to just walk into their life and make us whole. He tries but he is only human. After being single for so many years and always able to have things his way, it has been quite an adjustment for him to have a house full of rough boys. There are days when he would rather run away and if I can be honest here there are days when I would like to go with him!
One of the necessary things here is to reassure him that what he feels is normal and does not mean that he lacks love for them. I have to remind my husband that this is the first time I’ve ever been the parent to a pre-teen too. Or a parent to a child going through puberty. Or a child who smashes his face into the concrete after a failed bike trick. You get the idea.
Some of these issues are parenting issues and not neccesarily blended family issues.
Once you identify what type of issue it is then you can learn together. Take a class at your local church or school. Buy a book on blended families. Talk to a couple who has been there. Most of all, continue to love. Time flies. It will be seven years before you know it!
