My former spouse and I were separated for a long time before we ever got divorced and that didn’t ease any of the pain either of us went through. Even though I’d had enough of what he had put me through and even though he had already been making a life with another woman it was still extremely hard on both of us. You start to wonder who in the world you even are as a person. All of a sudden a huge part of your identity is gone and life as you knew it is just a memory. The pain is very real and the road to recovery is long.
I just pray that Jon and Kate both seek some type of Christian counseling to work on their own lives and to get insight to help with those eight beautiful kids of theirs. No matter how hard it is on mom and dad it is always hardest on them. No matter what is said to them or how often they are told otherwise, the kids always think they are the reason for the divorce.
Just the other night my husband, Ryan, and I had to have a talk with our boys because they were going through some rough emotional patches. I truly felt led by God to just tell them that they were not responsible for the divorce between me and their father, Mark, and that even though their dad doesn’t get to see them as often as he would like he still loves them deeply and thinks of them every day.
My youngest began to cry and told me adamantly that he knew he was the reason why his dad left and he believed it was because he didn’t keep his room clean. He was only three years old at the time yet he still believed this. I just held him and Ryan and I opened the door for any questions they had and we answered as best as we could. I also gave them the opportunity to call their dad and talk to him. Divorce is hard… even years after.
So I ask that you please join me in praying for these kids and their parents. It really doesn’t matter who did what or who’s dating who and voicing opinions on blogs only distracts us from what is effective: prayer, and they are going to need lots of it. The next year of their life will be one of the hardest they’ll ever have to live through. Unfortunately, me and nearly every other divorced person I know can attest to it.