This morning I happened to catch a segment on the Today Show about how women’s happiness is progressively declining. Apparently, research shows that women who are well educated, successful, healthy, and achieving all of their goals are still not happy. In fact, while going through a list that consisted of: being a mother, achieving a certain income, improving their physical appearance, meeting Mr. Right, and even attaining a social celebrity status, it was mentioned that not one of these events contributed to improving their happiness overall.
That is just sad. No pun was intended.
What is going on here? Is it that women have such a long list of things that they want to check off that they never feel accomplished and thus unhappy? Perhaps responsibilities that should be a priority but were overlooked in the pursuit of other things keep them from enjoying the success? Who knows?
I guess we could also argue that the media plays a significant role in all of this. After all, 100 years ago there was no TV or movies. Tabloids didn’t exist. The only pressure a woman felt to succeed was from her desire to provide the best home possible for her family. But we should also be fair and state that she couldn’t have been that “happy” all the time either. Every time she gave birth there was a 50% chance that her baby wouldn’t make it to the age of 2. There was also a much greater chance that her husband would be murdered or die from an accident in the field. That must have been pretty stressful and heartbreaking to live through.
The truth is that happiness is an emotion that is temporarily obtained by circumstances. Our circumstances will not always be pleasant. We are going to go through things. We can’t control our surroundings or the people in them. We can’t predetermine what way to travel to avoid the frustration of traffic. We can’t control the economy or our kids. For some it is that lack of control that brings on the unhappiness.
Happiness is a God-given gift that should be enjoyed and remembered to carry us through the not-so-happy times.
We shouldn’t try to achieve happiness because we will usually end up failing and getting the opposite result. The one thing we should strive for is typically overlooked. It is something that you can have whether you are happy or sad.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
John 14:27
Peace is what we need. Peace is what we should pray for, strive for, and actively pursue. Peace can exist among tragedy or triumph. Happiness can’t. Sadness can’t. Obtain peace. That is the pursuit you should be after…
If your sinful nature controls your mind, there is death. But if the Holy Spirit controls your mind, there is life and peace.
Romans 8:6
Part of the problem is that far too often we believe feelings are fact – and feelings are not always based in truth!!! (not that I speak from experience or anything) We live our lives on emotion – and while God gave us feelings, Faith is the only thing that is sure…
Great post, Amy. Cute baby bump pic, too. I'll make a bet that most those ladies who are not happy, do not know God. As you said, with God, we have peace…with peace…I bet bet we're happier! I know he makes me smile!
Thanks Amy, this was great.
I find it's in my most difficult times I find more time for prayer, the word and feeling grateful for all I do have.
The only happiness we'll ever find is in HIM.
Psalms 107:9
For he satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness.
Love you Amy!
PS How are you feeling these days?
i just noticed the baby bump picture at the top. how cute!
i heard about this article on rush a few weeks ago and i thought how ridiculous. i always wonder what women they called. why didn't they call me? if they could heard me over the baby and the 5 year old and the older girls squabbling, i would have told them i've never been happier.
Peace sounds so good right now. It feels like I haven't had that in a while. I'm trying to remember what it feels like. LOL. I agree that TV is a huge influence.
I know that when my TV is not on (like days when the cable bill is accidentally overlooked) I accomplish more during the day and I spend more quality time with my husband.
Beautiful post! I needed to hear this.
Amy @ Raising Arrows
Amen and amen and amen!
"But we should also be fair and state that she couldn't have been that "happy" all the time either. Every time she gave birth there was a 50% chance that her baby wouldn't make it to the age of 2. There was also a much greater chance that her husband would be murdered or die from an accident in the field. That must have been pretty stressful and heartbreaking to live through."
I think women didn't dwell on these things as much as we do now. I think women 100 years ago knew better to enjoy their present day and make the best of it because of hardships. Nowadays is like women are actually looking for trouble. It boggles my mind that women will leave their husbands and children just because "they are not happy anymore". it's ridiculous the lack of commitment these women have. They believe the lie that "stuff" and status will make them happy. Joy comes from the Lord. happiness will come from what is happening around you. I prefer JOY and peace as you mentioned.
Great post.
Sometimes I think happiness is a choice. Or at least contentedness, which in my world is the same as happiness. I think Paul said somewhere
"Be content in all things"
Or something like that. I am learning to ask God to show me how to change every time I start getting discontent. Learning very slowly mind you but learning
PEACE!!!