This weekend was full in so many ways. My baby turned 9. I’m pregnant. I cried.
Nine years ago I gave birth to this amazing little boy. He came early but he was 8lbs 14oz and had a head FULL of hair that stuck up everywhere. He is one of a kind. He can make me laugh with just a few words and my does he ever help me to just live in the moment. I began to recall all of his milestones…
It was very emotional. It occurred to me that in a few weeks he will no longer be the “baby” of the family. We will have another baby boy. I felt guilty for that. I don’t know why. Then, with all of those emotions flooding in I realized that I am going to be a mom again and wow, does that ever scare me. You would think after three that I would be used to this. I’m not. I always hope and pray that I can be the best mom and good grief, what if I can’t? I mess up… even on their birthdays.
I yelled at Andrew on his birthday. Way to go, mom.
I don’t even know what I was so upset about. He was helping me paint stuff for the new baby and left the new paintbrushes out to dry without rinsing them. I got so upset that I yelled and ran into my room (I know, how very grown up of me). Then I realized how dumb what I had just done was and called him to come lay by me.
I just held him and told him I was sorry. What else could I do?
He did go on to have an amazing day complete with a new marshmallow shooting bow, lego set, a new shirt and a cookie monster cake with cookie ice cream. He forgave me and never said another word about it. He smiled and laughed all day. I almost wanted him to be mad at me. I felt horrible for yelling at him. But, as always, he made me happy again and went about enjoying life. I could learn a few things from him.
Sunday he turned 9 years old. He is well advanced (academically) for his age and he still has a head FULL of hair that sticks up everywhere.
No matter how old you get or how many younger siblings you have, you will always be mama’s baby. I love you.
*tears*
