So I have this favorite rocking chair…

It sounds funny to even type that title because this little rocking chair isn’t exactly comfortable. It is hard in places and sometimes it squeaks. Still, it is perfect for my height. I’m short and unlike most other rocking chairs it doesn’t leave my legs cramping after long bouts of rocking babies… and I have rocked all of them in this chair.

What makes it so special to me is not the fact that my grandpa gave it to me when I was pregnant with Carsten or that my grandma picked out the cushions just for me. No, it is so special to me because God always meets me there. There in the uncomfortable, squeaky, but still perfect for me chair given to me by my grandparents.

He hast taught me lessons over and over again while I sang and cuddled my small babes as they do-do.

One night after a long day of wrestling with the emotions of having unpaid bills I sat down in the chair only to hear my Lord whisper to my spririt, “You have more faith that this chair will hold you when you sit than you have faith in me.”

What? Me?

*sigh*

I never question whether this inanimate object will hold me when I need support. I simply let my body go completely in the direction of the seat fully trusting that it will catch me.  Yet, I hesitate to allow my circumstances go with God and allow Him to deal with them as He has promised to do.

Then one day as I sat in the chair at my sister’s (she used it for her babies too) I was speaking to my grandma. We were talking about babies. Ryan and I had just been told that we could not have children without expensive medical intervention and even then the chances were slim.  So, as I sat in that chair, I made the comment that I had lots of baby clothes that I had been holding on to just in case I ever got pregnant or we decided to adopt. Even with the slim chance of it happening I was holding on to these clothes just to make sure he or she would be well dressed.

My grandma asked me why I was keeping them and I said that way I’d have some clothes in case we didn’t have money to purchase them when and if we did have a child. I promise you I felt a warmth come over me before she even said anything so I know it was God using my grandma to speak to me. She said, “You need to stop planning on being broke then.”

Wow. I was planning – regularly – by my words and actions to have no money. I planned on being broke. God sent a friend of mine to my home at just the right time and she was in need of the clothes. I gave them all to her. Just five weeks later I found out that I was pregnant with Matthias. It was the worst possible time since we had lost a good bit of our income just a couple of weeks before. Can I tell you that we have more than enough clothes for him? Yes, we do. Some of my dearest, sweetest, online friends even sent him clothes without ever knowing about this lesson from God or just how poorly we were doing financially.

On another occasion after I sat down I heard Him whisper to my heart, “Did you ask this walnut rocking chair to become maple before you sat in it? Would that change it’s purpose or your need?”

Now that may seem strange but I knew what He meant. We are sometimes preached to about being specific in our prayers with God and telling Him exactly what we want. At the time Ryan and I were praying for a new vehicle and at one point were told to pray for a specific vehicle. I know for some that has worked and could be a test of faith but as a genie prayer to God it isn’t recommended. Instead of just praying to God to “give us this day our daily bread” or in other words, giving us exactly what we needed at the time, we were trying to tell God what we needed but in a form that we wanted it to be delivered.

I do have trouble with trust but I have more trouble with giving up what I perceive to be the control over my life. God knows me best. He knows what I need more than I do. He provides for me so well that I have no need for anything.

God’s ways aren’t always comfortable. Sometimes listening to him can be a bit annoying to our flesh. But, He is always giving us just what we need and there are no lasting effects when we allow Him to have control. Kind of like my rocking chair, eh?

Tomorrow I’ll tell you about the adventure he took Ryan and I on over the last few weeks.

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