Though I am sure most have heard by Twitter or Facebook, for those who don’t know yet my 3 oldest boys’ daddy, Mark C., passed away yesterday. He was only 35 years old and he died from a pulmonary embolism. He should not have been taken from us so soon.
Thank you all for your prayers for my boys and for Mark’s family. Please continue to pray. Pray for Mark’s parents, his sister Markelle and his brother Michael and other family members. Pray for our boys and Ryan and I. Most people didn’t understand how Mark and I could have been so close after our divorce but we couldn’t help it. We had 3 common threads that forever united us. Besides, we had always been great friends. Ryan (my husband) and Mark have even had heart to heart talks over how to raise our boys. We were a family… all of us: faults and all. We all loved and accepted each other.
I am sad. I am angry. I hate that Mark is gone. I know he is in a better place and that things will get better. I just wish that we did not have to walk through this. I wish Mark would have been able to stay here much longer. We loved him… all of us did. The tears just won’t stop.
If this shows you nothing else, please let it show you that divorced or not you can parent together and have a healthy relationship. I am so glad that my pain is from the love I had for Mark and not from the bitterness I could have let build up in me. Was it weird at times? Yes, but so worth it. Especially now that I am typing this knowing he is no longer here. I am so glad we didn’t waste the last six years at each others throats. We really were a family.
I’m not trying to be poetic. I’m just trying to be real. Love is so much greater than hate. Love is what the Lord asks of us. Love is what we should give so freely. Please keep everyone in your prayers. It is so appreciated.
UPDATED:
Visitation for Mark will be Friday from 2 to 6pm at Wilbert’s Funeral Home in Plaquemine. This will be the only time for visitation. The death notice will be in the Advocate tomorrow and the obituary will be there on Friday. If there are any updates then you can find them on Kelle’s (Markelle Marcantel) page.
Please continue to pray for Mark’s mom and dad (Lucy and Mark), Markelle, Michael, and the boys. Thank you so much to everyone who is offering prayer and condolences. It means so much to all of us. Mark would have been so honored. Thank you.
Just hopping over from the Relevant linkup and saw your story. Sorry for your los.s I am sure it still hurts. It has not even been a year. Glad you two were able to stay friends. I don’t understand it as I did nto come from a divorced family and have never been divorced. My husbands parents are divorced and they seem to get along but I wouldn’t say they are friends. I know it would have greatly helped their sons if they either could have stayed together or stayed closer….
Sending prayers!
Just wanted to join the many others with sincere condolences and the hopeful comfort during this time of knowing that we, too, are praying your strength in the Lord. This is a beautiful testimony, and he was blessed to have people like you in his short life here.
Amy, my prayers are also with you and your boys. I’m so sorry.
Praying for you and your family Amy. So sorry to hear of your loss.
SO sorry to hear of your loss!! I will lift you all up in prayer. What a blessing that even through divorce you could still work together. That says alot of both of you as parents and children of our Heavenly Father. God bless and continue His work.
I just started reading your blog, and had come across your story about your divorce and healed relationship with your ex-husband. I am so sorry for the loss all of you have had. I pray that the whole family will feel the peace of God over them.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. We will keep you and your family in our prayers. God bless you.
Amy – I am so sorry. Have been saying prayers for you all, especially your boys. ((hugs))
Your families’ testimony is lovely. It is a walking example of John 13:35. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.
Amy, I am so sorry to hear about this. Your love, forgiveness, and friendship for Mark really comes through in this post, and it is amazing to read. I just know that God has and will continue to use your situation for good in many, many lives.
So sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you all at this time.
Dear Amy,
I am really sorry for your loss. Please accept my heartfelt sympathies and prayers during this time. I am really proud of the way you communicated with your ex husband. You are a true example of christian love. My sister, I leave with you a short verse from HIS WORD :
He will wipe every tear from your eyes. There won’t be any more death. There won’t be any grief, crying, or pain, because the first things have disappeared. (Revelation 21:4)
Do take care,
Cheryl
So sorry for you and your family’s loss. There are no words that I can say that will ever take the pain away.
I love you.
Grandma Patty Ann
God bless you all. Glad you are saying goodbye without any deep regrets.
My prayers and love go out to you and your family, especially your precious sons. May God’s love and peace surround and fill you as you walk this part of your journey.
Ohhhh, I am so sorry about your loss but it seems like you guys managed to move on without affecting the children in a bad way. I pray the Lord will give you strengthn as your family grieve
the life of a man you all loved and adore. Let your kids know its okay to cry and be sad for a while.
I’m so sorry. Praying for y’all.
gentle hugs and tears with you.
Praying for your family, your boys and each person who loved him!
I am so sorry. I just read this news this moment. Am so very sorry for your and your boys loss.
Many prayers to you Amy and your boys and family.
-H
So sorry for your loss.
Amy,
I’m so very sorry for your loss. Words fail me. Yet I know His will bring you comfort.
I’m so touched and blessed by your testimony of life after divorce with your ex-husband, the father of your boys.
I’m going to ask the Lord to help me in this area to grow closer to my ex, the father of my two oldest daughters.
Thank you for sharing this! I pray the Lord bring healing and peace to you, your boys and their dad’s family.
Much love,
Rena
Amy,
My heart and prayers are going out to you, the boys, and the family. Asking Him to surround you all with peace and comfort for the trying days ahead.
Dear Amy and Sons,
I am so sorry for your loss, but I am inspired by your story. What a testimony of God’s grace and love. You all and Mark’s family will be in my family’s prayers. We know that God is able to bring comfort and healing.
Dear Amy,
I’m so sorry for your loss. You, your boys, Ryan and Mark’s family are in my thoughts and prayers. May God be your Comforter at this time.
Amy,
So sorry to hear of your loss. i will be praying for your family. i love it that you were all a family, despite the divorce. Wish more families were like that. Praying for you all.
Praying for you all, Amy. What an amazing testimony that your entire family could build such a relationship together! To know that even though the unexpected happened, there are no regrets. God is so incredible. Asking Him to fill each of you in His mighty peace that passes all understanding.
love,
dianne
I’ve been praying for your family since I heard yesterday. I understand (a bit) being on good terms with an ex. My mother and father are still quite amiable. Big hugs for ou and your boys.
Amy,
I’m a friend of Lisa Boyd’s and followed her link today. I’m sitting now grieving with you after reading this post and your posts about your divorce. What an amazing story you and Mark had that will glorify the Lord for generations to come. Hugs to you.
Amy,
I am so sorry to hear about your family’s loss. I will certainly be praying for you and your entire family at this time.
Debbie
Amy I’m so very sorry for your families’ loss.
You are all in my prayers.
Love Lea
Oh, Amy. Praying sweetie.
Amy – I am so sorry for your loss. How blessed you are to have had such a strong relationship even after a divorce. My parents too, are divorced and still “friends” I know how completly blessed I am to have parents who do not talk badly about each other, who hug when they see each other. What a blessing.
I will be praying for you and your boys and extended family for a LONG time, because I know that it takes a long time to grieve and sometimes understanding the “why” doesn’t come quickly or at all. Please know to you will be lifted in prayer this weekend especially as we all miss meeting you at Relevant, enjoy time spent with your family. Praying for you, that you would find the right words and that you would also be comforted by others.
lots of love, Donna
My prayers are with you and your entire family. I am so glad to see another family – like ours – that is a true family through divorce. My ex and I are close and he is truly a part of our family as well. That is what is necessary for the children and wish there were more families like yours and mine who can learn to live with love instead of hate. I am sure that will make this horrible tragedy go easier – if that is even possible. Thinking of you and your boys and hoping the pain eases with time and good memories.
Amy, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. As I read this, tears welled up in my eyes, not only for your boys’ loss of their father, but for a friend you and your family clearly loved. The part that you wrote about pain because of the loss, not because of built-up bitterness, really hit me. I know so many couples who are divorced who can’t even be the same room together. What a gift it will be for your boys to have a mother who will remember their father with love, rather than hate. Praying for you as you all walk through this together.
I’m praying for you and your family – Mark’s too. Love ya girl! Let me know if there’s anything I can do!!
Oh Amy, I didn’t know. I’m so sorry. I know in divorce no one wins, but it sure sounds like you all made the situation the very best it could be. I’ll be praying for all the families involved.
Dear Amy,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your loved one.
We cannot know or understand Gods timing. It’s by faith that we trust He does have a plan and one day will make it all plain. Until then, when you can’t see His hand….trust His heart. He is for you and loves you and your family. May you be comforted in a mighty way and feel God’s presence powerfully during this time.
Praying and heavy-hearted with you,
Tracy
AMY,
I am so sorry…I WiLL pray for you and your family as well as his family during this time.
Dear Amy,
I saw your post from Sue Cramers FB page.
I am so very sorry for your pain and the loss of your former husband. I was married for 18 years before divorcing. He too suffered a heart attack (last July 6th) and died. The myriad of emotions was deafening…….. to grieve a former husband in the arms of a present husband was beyond strange! ….. the pain was exacerbated by unresolved grief stemming from the divorce itself many years earlier….
Even though I left that marriage and have since married the man of my dreams, I thought the pain and darkness of that day would overtake me…….. and our daughters…… but it didnt……… and I found that when we came out of the darkness, God had brought healing in ways only He couldve.
We are all doing great….. there are still moments of grief, but the intensity subsides….. I will pray and trust that you and your children will find wholeness even in their loss.
Here is my story, if it brings you any comfort. http://revoatthewell.blogspot.com/2010/07/dirty-feet-of-savior.html
Boys,
I am so sorry for your loss. I’m praying for you.
Amy,
Praying for you and your family.
My prayers are with you and the whole family!
My thoughts and prayers are with you, your boys, and Mark’s family during this time.
What a testimony you have given Jesus. I’m so proud of the way that you’ve walked with your ex husband and honored the lives of the children you both brought into the world together. How wonderful that your children have never felt the need to have to choose between parents and were able to grow up KNOWING that their parents were friends and were still parenting them TOGETHER regardless of the circumstances of their marriage.
I am so sorry for your loss and for your family’s loss.
I pray God will send a covering of comfort in the coming days, weeks, months and even years. I cannot imagine the grieving process that you and your children will be going through.
I am so very, very sorry.
Only God knows why he called Mark home so early.
But I know that He hasn’t forgotten about your family and I know that He hurts when you hurt.
I know I don’t really know you, but I am praying for you and your family in this time.
Amy, I am so, so very sorry. You all have my prayers. I’m also sending up a prayer of thanksgiving that you, your husband, and Mark were all able to pull together for those precious boys and model positivity for them. Take care.
I am so glad that you were obedient to the Lord in keeping a good relationship with Mark. That you didn’t let bitterness take root in your heart. That you and Ryan allowed the circle of your family to include Mark. Praise the Lord for blessing y’all with that good relationship with one another!
Praying for each and every one of you. May God hold you close and give you a peace that passes all understanding.
Love you!
Marshy
My heart goes out to your family, as well as Mark’s family. Praying for peace through this storm…thankful that this is not God’s FINAL plan, and so happy that he’s resting in the arms of Jesus now. I pray for strength and comfort for you, my friend.
Amy,
Praying with you and for you and your family. Praying His peace that passes all understanding.
Praying for your family, those precious boys. You are doing God’s work and thank you for sharing your tetsimony of lovre, not hated. In this world, it is refreshing to see you put your differences aside, as God would have us do, forthe sake of your united cause. I am sittng here heartbroken for your family. God bless you for rising above and may God continue to resource your strength. Deepest heartfely sympathy, Lorraine
Praying sweet friend. So sorry for your loss.
Love you!
Angela Parsley
Amy, I’m so sorry for the pain and loss in your family right now. There’s so much more inside I’d like to express, but I haven’t the words…Praying!
Sweetie, I am so very,very sorry for your famlie’s loss. Lifting you all way up in my prayers. Much love, and many hugs to you dear.
{{{Amy}}} May God’s love heal your hearts in the days ahead and continue to be an example of how great HE is!
Blessings,
Tammy
Oh Amy I am so, so sorry for this loss… yours, your boys… all involved! May the Lord shower you with grace, peace, compassion and His very presence in ways beyond your imagination during this time! {HUGS} upon more {HUGS}
Dear sweet Amy, I am so sorry for your loss, I can not even begin to wrap my head around the fact that he was 35, that is so very young. You, the boys and his family will be in my prayers as you seek peace and comfort from the One who gives is so freely. Thank you for sharing your heart for LOVE with all of us and allowing us to stand in the gap with you! xoxo, Melissa
Praying for you all and praising God for His grace. I do pray that many others would also see the grace God has given you all in this, both to be the family you were and as you deal with the ongoing effects of Mark’s death. Prayers are going up for you from all around the world.
Ruth
So so sorry Amy. I’m praying for all of you.
Amy, what gift you have given all of us! I lost my first marriage for the same reason as you but he doesn’t want a healthy relationship with us. It’s been 19 years now and even though we reach out he won’t reach back. I’m encouraged to hear that you guys succeed. This is so important for our kids!
Praying for you guys,
Cherie
I am so sorry for your loss Amy! This is a beautiful tribute to Mark and how a relationship can flourish even after divorce. Thank you for sharing your heart and pain with us.
Alisa
Amy, I am so terribly sorry for your loss!! I cannot imagine what you and your boys are feeling right now! Your testimony of forgiveness and love for your former husband is amazing, and truly inspiring in the wake of this loss as well! Praying for comfort for you in the loss of a friend and family member, but also for your “mama’s heart” as you grieve with your sons!
I am saddened to hear of your loss, but I comment, mainly, because I, too, am divorced, but friends with my ex and his new wife. I am so glad that someone else is doing this
It really is the best for the kids…
praying for your and your family… ALL of it…
Amy,
I am so very sorry. How terribly tragic! I pray that Jesus will hold all of you tightly in His hand. I am so sorry.
Leah
Amy,
My condolences to your boys, to you, to Mark’s family and all who are close to him. Your post brought tears to me. What beautiful story of LOVE, Friendship. And wow, yes that you guys were truly a family and didn’t waste all these years. I will keep you all in my prayers and for your boys to get through this. God’s Grace covers you all.
Deepest Sympathy,
Duong
Amy, so sad to read this news! I had read that he had a heart attack earlier. 35 years old is so young and not unheard of ….
I love that you had been able to have a good relationship with Mark and that your husband and he even spoke about the children. I know most people don’t understand that but I have to add that I was married before for five years to Mike. We are still good friends and his family and I are close. Mike has been remarried for many years and I have been married to my hubby Greg for 26 years. But it’s nice to be able to communicate and get along.
I will be praying for the families, especially our boys.
Hugs to you Amy,
Debbie
Mark sounds like a literal super man, and the relationship the two of you had post-divorce, a super one. In both times I was divorced – and once from a minister – I did not have such a blessing. I am always deeply blessed, however, when I read of others who have!!! My very deepest sympathies, and, my prayers.
Amy,
Your heart and your words are beautiful. Thank you for shining His light even in the midst of so much darkness…and what could be so ugly.
You speak volumes to us all, divorced or married.
Much love and hugs,
Sue
You know you’ve got my prayers. I’m just heartbroken for you, and for the boys.
i am so sorry for your families loss, im glad i got a chance to know him…he was a very loving father & friend….i will keep u all in my prayers….
Amy ~
I’ve been praying for you all and I am so sorry for the loss that this is for all of you.
Jolanthe
I’m so sorry for your loss, Amy. You and your family will be in my prayers. Thank you for sharing such encouraging thoughts in the midst of all the pain. God bless you.
Prayers for you and those sweet boys. I’ve always thought of you as a wonderful example for people who are divorced but can still be kind to one another. I see so much anger and bitterness in the world between divorced couples, and I can never see any good come out of that, especially for the children.
You and Mark are true examples of Christlike love in all situations.
He will be remembered well.
Amy this was a beautiful post. I am so saddened for you all. I am here if ya need me, anything at all, just ask.
My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. I am so glad to hear stories about families getting along that are or have gone through divorce… being able to work and love for the good of all. My husband is a funeral director and the stories he tells me sometimes just hurt…families that when one person walks in a room others get up and leave. The fighting over whose flower piece was placed closer to the casket…stupid stuff.
Sometimes we don’t understand why some people are taken from this earth, but we do know that God sees the big picture. He can help us through our grieve.
Amy I am so sorry. Praying for you, Ryan and the boys and all of Mark’s family that you all have peace and comfort during this time.
I’m so sorry for your family’s loss. I’m sure it’s such a hard thing to deal with, even if he was your “ex”, there’s still a forever link. I just want you to know that I’m praying for you all. It’s so great to know that in Christ you can love anybody, and pray for anybody, at any time!!
I am so very sorry about your loss. May the Lord be with you in an amazing way.
Amy,
I am truly sorry for your loss. I will be praying four your family in the days ahead. May God bless you with continued Wisdom and His abundant Grace and Peace in the days ahead.
(((((Amy)))) I will be praying for you and your family.
(
Precious friend,
I communicated with you via Twitter yesterday but wanted to say again that my heart and prayers are with you and your family. I am weeping with you over this incredible loss of loved one to your family. I’m PRAYING for ALL of the family…
Your testimony is an example of Christ’s love, humility and forgiveness. I pray that anyone that needs to read/hear that testimony, GOD would lead them to this tender message.
My heart and love is with you.
May the peace and comfort of the LORD rest with all of you…
Oh amy,
I echo your words. thank you for sharing your life. The truth that bitterness helps no one. And know I am praying for you, Ryan and the boys. Love you so much
Thank you for being willing to share your heart. You are an inspiration. I will bepraying for you and your family.
Amy, you are on amazing woman of GOD! What a testimony you have, I know God will use it for the rest of your life.
My heart aches for you and especially the boys. I know they loved their dad.
One day we’ll better understand the workings of God, for now, we just have to trust Him.
I’m sending lots of prayers out your way. I’m just so sorry.
Life is so short, and you are so RIGHT. We need to live like this daily. Sometimes we don’t get the chance to make things right. So blessed you forgave and moved on because of that precious thread that linked you guys together. You are truly a WISE woman.
Thanks for sharing this today. I pray this will help bring healing and hope to many.
Love you?
So very sorry for your loss Amy. What you said resonates with me deeply. We should never spend the time fighting, when we could spend the time building stronger relationships for our children and ourselves, as well as those who are watching us.
I am certain your children will look back and be forever blessed their parents were able to be friends after parting ways.
Praying for you and yours.
Hallie
So sorry, praying for all of you!
I’m sorry for your loss. I will keep your family and his in my prayers. ((hugs))
I have not been online at all since last week & did a quick checkin on FB, & saw this. I am so sorry Amy. Last time we talked I thought he was recovering. I guess he knew to grab that time he had left. Praying for Marks family and yours. God has me at a cross road right now, & I couldn’t stop crying as I looked at an earlier picture of Mark & the boys. We do soooooo have to live each moment, season. Every single day matters.
Sending love, hugs, & prayers your way my friend.
Noelle
i’m so sorry to hear this. i’ll be praying for your family.
Ohhh Amy, I am so sorry! Prayers for you & the family. So glad you & Mark were friends despite the divorce! Love & hugs!
Since I read on FB & Twitter last night, you’ve been close in thought and prayer. My heart hurts for you and your boys, but I know we have a Mighty Father who loves you and keeps count of all those tears. You will never forget him . . . you will not get “over” him . . . but you will go thru this valley together and come out stronger, shinning for Him.
I mentioned you on my blog post as well today. Hugs . . .
Amy – As a counselor, I know all too well the difficulties which arise between parents/stepparents/kids and how it oftentimes breaks the family apart and, as a result, it is the children who end up hurting the most. What you and Mark and Ryan have done is give your boys the greatest gift and legacy of all – love. Love without bitterness or rancor. Love without having to “choose” or take sides. What special people all of you are. I’m keeping all of you in my prayers, but especially you, as you help your boys through their pain while, at the same time, going through your own grieving process. God bless all of you, Amy. If you ever need to talk (and I know we don’t know each other that well), please feel free to send me an email. With sincerity – Valerie
So sorry for your family’s loss. I think it’s incredible that you and Mark were able to lay aside whatever differences you had for the sake of your children. Wouldn’t the world be a much better place if all parents were so selfless?
I am sorry for your loss. I will pray for you, the boys, and Mark’s family.
Amy I am so sorry. I’ll be praying fro you and your boys. May God’s peace and love permeate your hearts!
I have often been inspired by how you have handled your situation and I pray that you have peace in that during this awful time. I am praying specifically for each of your boys and your entire family! Love, hugs and prayers!
Amy that was so beautiful. You offer a better way for parents who follow your example. I have been praying for all of you.
*Tears* with you, my friend. Praying, interceeding and weeping with you. I love you dearly. And I love how you walk in His Light and for His Glory. You challenge me to be a living-forgiving kind of servant.
Awe! I am so sorry! I didn’t hear before now. How sad.
God will definitely see to working through your life to minister to other divorced women, Amy. ((hugs)) Much love!!! And lots of prayers. Take the time you and your family needs.
Oh Amy, I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for being real and authentic. Your testimony during this walk of mourning glorifies Him and honors Mark well. I will be praying for you, your boys, Ryan and Mark’s family. My heart hurts for your family.
I am so sorry for your loss. I think it is great that you were able to stay a close and connected family despite your divorce. I pray for your boys during this hard time AND that more divorced families can speak of each other with the love that you displayed here.
Praying for you my dear. May the peace of God fill your heart and comfort you during this most difficult time
Sending prayers to your boys, your extended family and Mark’s parents. Thank you for sharing your story of grace and compassion. Praying:
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10 NIV
He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
Psalm 91:4 NIV