Ryan and I have attended too many funerals recently. I’ve never been so bombarded by death. All of them were people who either had a direct spiritual influence on us or people that we had a direct spiritual influence on or both. My friend, Glynn and his son Christopher, my uncle George whom we called Uncle Brother, Dave Ohlerking, the boys’ dad Mark C, and just this week Jordan Gautreau – a 22 year old man that Ryan had the pleasure of serving alongside at the youth group from our church. All of this got me thinking about what these people might say to our Father about us? Would they say we were receptive to learn and eager to serve? Would they say we were genuine and forgiving? Would they say that we have the kind of love that can only come from Him?
Life is short, folks. We must serve others and absorb and share as much of Him as we can because we never know when we or someone else might be called home.
I also started thinking that the main people that matter to me, those who I hope to influence and serve the most may not believe that I feel that way because of my actions. My family: my husband and my kiddos; grandma and my brother and sister; my mom and dad; Ryan’s mom and dad; Mark’s family; all of our siblings. These are the people that I feel called to at this season of my life. I have an amazing family. I am so blessed to have Ryan as my husband and to have been given the gift of Carsten, Maxon, Andrew, and Matthias.
I say all of that because lately blogging and being online has been such a priority for me. I put it on my to do list and even though I set a timer and was was vigilant to put my family first, I have to admit that just because I wasn’t at the computer doesn’t mean it wasn’t at the forefront of my mind. Even though I wasn’t here I was still thinking about those 2 hours when I could be. My family should be at the forefront of my mind.
I’m taking a bit of a break from being a regular online until after Christmas. I need it. The boys birthdays are coming up (November 17 and 19) and Mark was planning something big. We are now fulfilling that for them. I also know Thanksgiving and Christmas will be a bit difficult. I need to be with them.I will post now and then but my mind and heart will be at home.
Photography by Tracy – Shots from the Heart Photography View the rest of our photos here: Family Photos
With that in mind, I’m giving up the homemakers challenge – FREE to a good home. If anyone would like to take it over please email me and let me know what you’d like to do with it. I have the domain, images, giveaways, and all of my ideas that will go with it. The “I know what I have to do” that God spoke to me is “home” but home in the sense of being present here in mind and body. Giving them my full heart. That means the obligations I set for myself have once again taken time away from them. Giving up Homemakers Challenge frees me to have no obligations and enjoy my time with my family.
This song confirmed it all for me:
I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying
“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can’t
Don’t leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?
Stand up when I can’t
Don’t leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?
Show me you’re willing to fight
That I’m still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone.”
That I’m still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone.”
I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They’re just children from the outside
I’m working hard, I tell myself they’ll be fine
They’re independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying
They’re just children from the outside
I’m working hard, I tell myself they’ll be fine
They’re independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying
“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can’t
Don’t leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?
Stand up when I can’t
Don’t leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?
Show me you’re willing to fight
That I’m still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone.”
That I’m still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone.”
So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I am called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won’t you lead me?
To be everything I am called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won’t you lead me?
To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can’t
Don’t want to leave them hungry for love
Chasing dreams that I could give up
To stand up when they can’t
Don’t want to leave them hungry for love
Chasing dreams that I could give up
I’ll show them I’m willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, ’cause I can’t do this alone
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, ’cause I can’t do this alone
Father, lead me, ’cause I can’t do this alone
Lead Me by Sanctus Real
The only dreams I want to be chasing right now is them. They are everything I have ever hoped and prayed for. They need me most right now.
Great decision, Amy. I surrender to the Lord and walked away from my blog in October. Since then, the Lord poured forth tremendous blessings on me and my family. My husband is especially glad to have my mind present with my body, with him and our children, for the first time in a long time! May you find the space to rest in the Lord, grieve as He enables, and heal in the safety of His intimate presence.
Happy Birthday Boys!
Wishing you all strength and happiness!
OH Amy – very wise! These holidays are going to be so special and memorable. Enjoy this time together!
Much Love,
Courtney
Your first ministry is home. Take time and get some mental rest.
When God speaks to to you have to listen.
During your time of peace the Lord is going to grow you in ways you could never imagine.
We all will meet again in the New Year
Amen! The kids and I watched “The Way Home” last night and I saw myself in the father who was remembering being too busy for his boys. I don’t want to be like that anymore. I want to chose what’s better. My friend and I started a homeschool support group last year (which began this fall 2010), with a promise that we would let it be whatever people needed and that the group was never to take precedence over our families. Well, we both realized that this year is going to be it for awhile; our families just need us more at this point in life. I love that song. It is such a good reminder of what is important. Your pictures are beautiful!! Everyone is growing up so fast. I cannot believe how big baby Matthias is…and the older boys have changed, too.
You’re such a wise woman. Many would not heed that inner voice of The Holy Spirit leading them to greater priorities. But listening and heeding to Him is what will leave us with no regrets down the line and when we stand before our God & King. Soak in that beautiful family of yours and ya know what? YOU go take the ballet lessons!
Dear Amy,
God knows best. Your family needs you right now! Spend as many moments with them as you can. Remember, God is with you as you walk along this path and He will strenghten you and help you. You are in my prayers during this time. Be blessed,
Cheryl
Enjoy your time with them, Amy. You are loved, and the internet isn’t going anywhere. Just enjoy today and God will take care of all of your tomorrows.
Still praying for you . Time away from the computer is never a bad thing!
Dear Amy…
Praying for you and your family and asking God to surround you all with His comfort, provision, and care. May the Lord minister to you as only He can, and bless your holidays with a fresh measure of His love, laughter, and rich family times.
May you lean hard on Him, His Word, and your family & friends during this time of loss. You are not alone.
In Him,
Cindy
I’ve been praying for your little men- and praying for you, that you’d know where the Lord wanted you in these coming months. I’m so glad He is speaking and you are following.
Praying for you, beautiful lady, and your family. I’m glad you are making this decision and following God’s direction for you.
Love you, dear.
((hugs))
Enjoy it all . . . enjoy them all.
Praying for you and your family that this time will be a time of rest, refreshing, nurturing, comforting, growing, enjoying, loving.
Love you, friend,
Mary
Me, too. That’s all I could think…me, too. That’s what I want. I want to lead, to be a present part of their lives….to pour in. So my commitments and choices? They have been on a chopping block lately. Important–life-giving–things are at stake.
Love you, Amy!
Holly
((Amy)) I totally feel the same way sometimes..like with GGM…it has just ‘sat’ for over a year. We’ve posted there a few times and I cringe at letting it go after all the hard work of moving it, redesigning it etc.. But I know we need to hand it over to someone else. I asked my oldest daughter, Jess, this question…”Have I done a good job of stepping away from the computer for other normal life things?” and she said, “Yes.” We began walking several days a week, taking our cameras with us so we can use them on Pix-O-Sphere, stepping away from Facebook more has been a huge help too. You’ve been through a lot this year. deep breath… sometimes a breather is just what we all need. Room to breathe and rest…to reflect on what’s important.
I think you’re choice is that of pure wisdom. Good for you, girl! I pray this will be a good time for you. I’ll be back whenever you are, dear.
~h
ps – i just saw that sanctus real song for the first time yesterday – LOVE it. wow – powerful.
Blessings on you and your family as you walk through this season of mourning. You’re doing the right thing.