Have you ever held unforgiveness against someone? Maybe a friend, a neighbor, or even a family member? Do you know how you get that instant curled up lip when you see them? Then you snicker under your breath and go the other way to avoid them.
Ever felt that way?
I know that I have. It makes it hard to be comfortable and feel safe wherever that person is. The thing is, most of us bring those emotions home and attach them to inanimate objects.
How you ask?
Let me give you an example. Several years ago my children began going through their memory boxes. Memory boxes are just plastic shoe bins that I use to hold each child’s items that I want to keep and cherish. I also had a box for me. I never looked at it. It made me feel horrible when I did although I couldn’t explain why. Then one day as the kids began to dig through it I noticed some things.
- My wedding rings from my first marriage were a reminder that it ended in divorce because of his infidelity.
- The “Mom and Me” decorative book reminded me of the time my mother gave it to me. She wasn’t well and our relationship was painful at best.
- My first license that I kept reminded me of the fact that I actually failed the test the first time.
- The photos from homecoming and prom each reminded me of people who broke my heart or hurt me in some way.
- The graduation tassel reminded me that I didn’t actually get to walk with my class because I dropped out, got my GED, and stayed home to take care of my little brother while my mom was getting the help she needed.
The list goes on. All of these things that should have had happy memories attached, didn’t. They made me feel bad. After that realization occurred I began to see the same issue with parts of my home. Places where my late, former spouse and I had fought or the walls that were falling apart because they weren’t repaired correctly. Each time I connected with those places or objects it conjured up a negative emotion. I didn’t want to live like that so I did something about it.
I either replaced the items with things that brought me joy or reassigned the memories. That tassel is now a reminder that you can be a high school drop out and be wildly successful. I keep the wedding rings because they represent what the love of God can do in relationships, even after divorce. The walls can be repaired and I can place things that bring me joy in the locations where bad memories took place.
In some instances though, I had to really search my heart and forgive, forget, and get over it. I have realized in my life that people react out of hurt and pain. I can’t walk in their shoes. I will never know what they are going through. There is no sense in me being a prisoner of sadness because I want to hold a grudge.
So if you are sad at home really search your heart to find out why… then focus on getting past that. In doing so you open yourself up to a whole new world of happiness.
To read the other posts in this series: 31 Days to a Clean, Fresh Nest.
For more blogger’s participating in the “31 Days” series visit Nesting Place.