If Mama ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy?
I know you have heard that before. Like me you probably have said it a time or two. And you know it’s true. The emotional atmosphere of the house can affect it in a big way. Who cares if the house is clean if no one there is happy to be there?
Let’s talk about the triggers we may have never considered.
For years I was an angry person. The slightest little thing could set me off. I always blamed it on everyone else but especially my mom. Then I gave my life to Christ and learned to take responsibility for my own decisions and actions. For the most part I lived a peaceful life. Then I started getting angry again.
Truth be told I would get angry because I was angry. That’s bad. This time I started looking for the cause of the anger. I quickly decided it must have been my former spouse causing me to be so mad all the time. I settled on that for a while but God didn’t let me linger there long. I began to pray for Him to reveal my heart to me and to expose my inner workings. I began to take note of subtle changes in my body and in my thoughts. I noticed when I was becoming tense and when my heart would start to beat faster. Then I realized this signs were warning me of what was to come if I didn’t fix it.
When I realized what my triggers were I was dumbfounded. And sad. My triggers were two of my favorite things: rock music and forensic TV.
Don’t stop reading. I know it sounds crazy but hear me out.
I used to love listening to Christian rock bands but I realized that for me it was a bad idea. Rock music has a certain pattern to it. For the majority the music starts out with a melodic flow but then it escalates to a climax and then it just rides it out and stops suddenly. There is no calming down before the next song. It is like a reaction is building up inside your body but you never get to express it. It just stays waiting for the right moment to explode.
Watching shows like CSI was the same for me. Inside of my body I would recognize the tensing as certain clues were found, the anxiety of not knowing yet but trying to figure it out. The rapid heart beat as action scenes took place. Then, when the mystery was revealed I was still left all worked up because of the injustice, loss of life, and lack of morality I’d just seen.
I realize that not everyone has these reactions to music or TV shows. I’m using it as an example to share with you what signs you can look for to find your triggers. We are different people so we will likely have different triggers.
For one of my boys it was video games. He wouldn’t get to the next level in the time he was allotted and it would get him all worked up. For a family member it was speaking to one of his parents. He never got the relief or result he expected and so it would leave him stressed out. I’ve heard others say it is looking at celebrities in magazines or reading DIY blogs. Really, triggers can be anything that cause you anxiety and induce stress.
Our bodies are designed to have certain responses to situations. If a car fell on your child you’d get a rush of adrenaline that would give you greater strength and determination. Some things cause us to have these hormonal rushes but then there was no valid reason for it so we get no relief from a reaction. It has to be exerted somewhere so, for some, it happens in the form of anger or outbursts.
Some times we just have to decide to react differently. Other times we can eliminate that situation. Whatever way you decide to deal with it you will most certainly have a more peaceful home and let’s face it, happiness is contagious! You smiled when you saw Matthias’ picture up there didn’t you?
Have you discovered your triggers? If so would you share your experience? How did you know that was your trigger.