Pure Hope: Adding Hope and Biblical Truth to the Conversation on Purity

PureHopeWhen I was growing up I didn’t have a purity ring. I didn’t have anyone to teach me the right way to handle situations. I did what I thought was normal even though instinctively I knew it was wrong. As a result I was pregnant for my late, former spouse before we were married and he was not the only man I’d ever shared myself with. I didn’t know why it was wrong until I gave my life to Christ at the age of 21, just a few weeks after I married my first husband.

It became even more obvious to me when I stepped out into youth ministry and began searching for themes for summer camps and youth conferences. Purity was a  hot topic. Though the scriptural foundation of abstinence and purity was on target the method of the message was lacking.  As I read about and pondered all the ways to illustrate why we should stay sexually pure I became a bit disgusted. The illustrations included having everyone spit into a cup and asking if anyone was willing to drink it. The point being that is what a person who has had multiple sexual partners is equal to: disgusting spit. Really, I could have cared less that this equated me with spit. What I cared about was the message, or lack thereof.

It bothered me immensely because it took the focus off of God and away from the atoning sacrifice of His precious son, Jesus Christ. It put the focus on a night of supposed honeymoon bliss between two sexually pure people (that hardly ever happens folks). It put the focus on the pride of saying you saved yourself for marriage. It put the focus on self. Self earned accolades. I struggled to find Jesus in this message.

As I grew in my faith I began to see another dark side to the purity issue. The other extreme that says that there is freedom in exploring one’s sexual desires outside of the covenant of commitment and despite what the Bible commands. An extreme where the very essence of who God is, LOVE, is exploited in order to fulfill the lusts of ones flesh. God clearly defines love for us in 1 Corinthians 13 and it has nothing to do with feelings or desires. Both messages failed to point people to Christ but this other extreme was much too permissive about something that Jesus, the Word of God, strictly prohibits:

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.  1 Corinthians 6:9-11

For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.  Ephesians 5:5

Finally, then, brothers, we ask and urge you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God, just as you are doing, that you do so more and more. For you know what instructions we gave you through the Lord Jesus. For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; 1 Thessalonians 4:-18

I could go on and on with the scriptures that command that we abstain from sexual immorality (fornication, incest, homosexuality, bestiality, and orgies) but I think those are sufficient. It is a commandment from Leviticus 17-18. This is basic stuff. The problem is that over and over Christians have strayed from the Torah, the commands of God. We rewrite and rework them based on culture, time, preference, psychology, philosophy, desires and emotions. Then we blame God and say, “You made me this way.” Sound like a replay from the garden of Eden? Satan is consistent in his deception.

BY THE WAY: in the above verses it says those people will not inherit the “kingdom of God”. This is not the new Earth (eternal heaven). It is the thousand year reign the bible speaks of. I have news for everyone…there will be many people present in the eternal heaven who practiced homosexuality here on Earth.

God created us with the ability to choose: good or bad. For each good decision we are blessed or rewarded. For each bad decision we receive just discipline or punishment. For each repentance we receive unmerited grace. That is the mighty LOVE of Jesus Christ at work. For those like me who did sin, who fell short, and who made the wrong decision – there is HOPE. There is Jesus. And as we seek Him and walk in His ways we are washed white as snow. We become pure not because of ourselves but because of Him. I honor my own body because I honor Him.

I appeal to you therefore, brothers,by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world,but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.  Romans 12:1–2

My body is a living sacrifice.

How powerful is that?

After my first marriage ended I  didn’t feel like used goods. I felt like a “new creation in Christ” (Ephesians 2) just as He describes me to be. I shared myself with no other man until I met my husband. I chose to glorify the one I will spend eternity with: Jesus Christ. I chose to abstain from sex for no other reason but to honor Him. This has very little to do with me or sex and everything to do with my relationship with my Lord and Savior. I chose to be obedient to His Word and He enabled me. The rewards, though not all were as I expected, were plentiful and more than I could have hoped for.

There is always hope, always a second chance, for those who repent and are obedient to His Word.

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There are so many more women who contributed to this conversation today. I invite you to comment here and then visit the others. You can find links to their blogs here: Pure Hope: Bringing Grace and Truth to the Conversation About Purity


  1. Hi Amy, I was raised a Catholic, but I do not actively participate in any religion these days. I do, however, think it’s important to remain pure. There’s something special about sharing yourself only with the right person. I was raised to respect myself and to understand that my body is not disposable. I waited until I got married, and I’ve always been proud of that. I think purity is a message that has been lost or confused these days, and it’s really sad. Saving yourself was once an that was respected; these days people look down on it. I also want to comment though that, in my opinion, it doesn’t really seem fair that people can sleep around without a second thought, and then suddenly claim they have found Jesus and he has forgiven them for all of their previous indiscretions. I’ve never really understood how it’s possible to claim to know what Jesus is thinking. Another issue I have is the idea that Jesus or God can forgive you for certain things but not for others. Homosexuality is one that comes to mind. It doesn’t add up that someone can sleep around then turn around and “find” Jesus and all is forgiven, while another person who may have lived a respectable life, but happens to be gay, will not be accepted. Just a thought.

    • Maria, have you ever read his book, the bible? I’m not being snippy I really am inquiring. I was raised Catholic as well and I don’t ever remember being given the opportunity to read his word. Not even during my Catechism classes. It was when I became an adult that I began to seek his word to find answers for myself. The answers to your questions are all there. He does speak to us through His word and by his spirit. Not that we know all of his thoughts but he does share many.

      First, I know some people say or believe that homosexuality is unforgivable but I don’t. It is equal to any other sin you or I commit daily. We will all die with sins that we have not repented for. For some I think sexual immorality may be the least of their worries. The biggest issue here is our understanding of heaven, hell, and the bible. Unless you read them in context and from the original source you cannot understand how all can be forgiven and why murderers, liars, adulterers, and other sinners will be present in heaven. We live in a religious culture that chooses to regurgitate what we’ve heard from the pulpit instead of seeking truth.

      All sins can be forgiven, even sexual immorality. One must repent first. If you look up the definition of repent it states that it is to turn away from sin; to change one’s mind; and to feel remorse. The bible defines it the same way but clearly states that first we must turn to God. To be forgiven we must stop committing the sin we are seeking forgiveness for. That means you can be forgiven of acts of homosexuality or fornication if you turn away from the sin; change your mind towards it; and experience remorse. But I will add here that most every married couple commit some form of sexual immorality so singling out homosexuality is unfair.

      Forgiveness doesn’t mean you become a virgin again or that those sins did not occur but it does mean you have clean hands and a pure heart before God. The bible tells us when someone is truly repentant our Father no longer remembers our sins.

      If you are really interested to learn more I’m happy to share. Otherwise, I won’t take up any more of your time. Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your heart!

  2. Hi Amy! Its been awhile since I’ve stopped in AND left a comment but just wanted to tell you thank you for this. We so miss the mark when we make our purity about us and not Christ. A message I wish I had heard 30+ hrs ago! But God is faithful and we do get second chances!

    And wow 6 years!! I think I started following you around the time of you marrying Ryan!

  3. Wow Amy, I love how your perspective on purity keeps things about Christ and not about ourselves. It’s truly humbling to hear this after I’ve thought so many times about how to present this topic to my growing kids. Thankful I found you, friend. Grace to you~


  4. I’m so thankful for your testimony and your clear, kind truth spoken here. It’s not always easy to speak both grace and truth – but you’ve sure done it here. Blessings on your beautiful marriage!

  5. May I ask what happened to your first marriage? divorce? at the beginning of your post you said your “late first husband”. was it his death that ended your marriage? did he ever become a believer?

    • Hi, Ruth! My first husband divorced me after he’d had multiple affairs. Two years after we parted I met Ryan, my forever husband. It was Ryan’s Christlike nature that eventually led my former spouse to Christ. It was truly amazing to witness and be a part of. My former spouse passed away, quite unexpectedly, less than a year later.

  6. Thank you so much for this wonderfully written Christ-centered post! Great point about our modern Christian self-centered attitude about remaining pure.

  7. Great post, Amy. Many of the posts about purity do miss the mark. I love how you call your husband your “forever husband”. I have been blessed with a forever husband, too. We will celebrate our 12th anniversary in July.

    Still want you to guest post on Whatever Girls someday, you rock it with these posts. 🙂

    • I am so thankful to God for my forever husband. 🙂 Ryan and I are going on 6 years. I’m still in awe that God does such things for us. We are blessed!

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